fuckyeahbarbie

2011-06-29T09:21:00.001+08:00

2011-01-23T22:49:00.002+08:00

It doesn't feel like 2011 cause same shits have been happening to me and everyone else ever since forever. So whats new?

2010-12-31T03:29:00.003+08:00

Cmon babies, A little bit more and we're done :)

2010-12-31T03:27:00.002+08:00

things i do for you, sad you never took the time to notice. Time and again i walk in and out of your life. Again, things i do for you. Never mattered to you. But then again not like you mean anything to me anyway.

2010-12-31T03:19:00.002+08:00

As of tomorrow, one year has passed.

They only thing i can remember is, having the best people in the world, kak irah, my tp-mates and my boys & supergirls.

2011, be nice.

2010-12-28T01:09:00.002+08:00

Dear Girl,

When you want to do something, don't just think bout how awesome it'd be like now, cause years down the road, you will regret the decision you made that very moment.

2010-12-26T21:09:00.001+08:00

A need a breather, typically, when i walk back home ill enjoy the company of me myself and i, but these days, i couldn't help feel upset and empty. And i don't know why

2010-12-13T02:07:00.000+08:00

Feels like never falling in love.

2010-12-13T01:50:00.002+08:00

Its been me, my cup of caramel frappe topped with whipped and extra caramel drizzle, my accounting notes, music and junkies.

& i miss my boys and you supergirl.

2010-12-10T23:37:00.003+08:00

Ive been missing carefree night-outs. Supposedly i should be in JB now having nice food and sheesha but im not feeling well, and the thought of pushing myself to force down these notes, made me even more sick.

i could just lay on my bed for the years, i am not kidding. Im kinda freaked out waking up feeling so heaty, going to the mirror and seeing my whole mouth covered with blood that dried up :( . I hope its nothing serious, im going to the dentist tomorrow, alone. And the doctor too and i will ask him why i am so skinny. Yes after 19 years i shall ask the million dollar question.

haish the thought of being sick and still gotta study.. Puts me in a place where, ah im too tired to think even.

2010-12-09T13:24:00.004+08:00

Finally last day of Toptable.

Was sick as hell, nose as red as rudolf, head spinning like right round, but for Jasmine sake, i will not screw up operations. Was the Captain and was super blessed to have Fiona and Jovy working with me, love them to the core seriously please. Served a total of 20 guests? But then im sure my station had fun, girls power! On the last day of operation in TT i realised, top table aint that bad, had fun, had picked on again and again and again to a point where i feel like im super useless -.- but again the satisfaction of proving them wrong, is sweet.

right after operation, i fell real sick :( Hence im not in school today so bye fuckideation.

mum and sis is gg town again today :(

2010-12-07T23:10:00.003+08:00

Wish me luck

2010-11-29T22:04:00.003+08:00

to find someone who can make you smile every single time youre with him, is like finding a unicorn. Im not saying its impossible but its beyond impossible.

i realised i am desperate to flee out of Singapore. Away from alot of things (well dont ask me what are they, cause i think im someone who keeps alot deep inside and never really let it out) Mauritius and Seychelles sounds like the way out. Having doubts but i will try my best and leave it up to fate. Amin.

2010-11-29T01:54:00.002+08:00

Friday evening, under the dark blue skies accompanied with stars shinning, complimented with live soothing music... the breeze the voice the lyrics, i couldn't lie further, i am still hurt.

:)

2010-11-29T01:50:00.001+08:00

2010-11-29T01:33:00.003+08:00

Friday; Music fest

Saturday; OSIP/SIP briefing then work

Sunday; work.

I choose to believe, after all, he knows whats best.

2010-11-25T23:01:00.002+08:00

Hi its Thursday, i had the longest sleep ever after SSM on wednesday from 8pm to 9am! Wednesday was execution week, was the cashier. Was extremely proud of myself for not screwing up till.... something just screwed up. And i teared cause after thinking i did so well and suddenly someone just comes up and made me sound like i wasnt doing my job, the amount of dissapointment was beyond words at that moment. But overall we did well, kudos!

Thursday... Gave accounting lecture a miss cause i was tired.. still haha. Had lunch with our chopstix boys at bistro. And ideation sucked balls.

Goodnights

2010-11-23T19:38:00.003+08:00

I miss Tourism Academy of Sentosa

Had ticketing test today, Im glad it was a breeze. Oh god, please help me ace this sem, i really need my A's.

2010-11-22T23:32:00.002+08:00

Life is awesome, if you stop thinking bout others too much.

If you continue letting people go.

If you continue knowing what you want

Continue convincing yourself you could live without that.

& if you keep lying to yourself cause its best for you, trust me Nordiana it is.

2010-11-22T23:17:00.002+08:00

Saturday ; Spooktacular Luncheon. The only time ill play billard, bimbo got 4 balls in, okay that sounds abit very wrong.

Sunday; back to work after so long.

Monday; dated nad out for harry potter! One hell of a good movie.

Seems like blasting songs and enjoying every minute walking in a crowd where it seems like everything is in slow-mo, makes me day.

2010-11-19T21:54:00.003+08:00

I don't know this i don't know that, i couldn't be bothered. But right now, i choose to be bothered. I don't want to spare a thought for you anymore, i don't want your morning messages and then the conversation dies and next morning the cycle goes. I don't want to keep telling myself i don't know. Yes i know, i bloody know the truth. Truth; i like your presence, i like your smell i like how you pampers me, i like a million things about you. But trust me, i don't even know you these days and i don't wish to.

I expected nothing from you. Thats why its expected for me to react this way, its expected that i couldnt be bothered. Nothing nice comes around, oh okay i totally give a shit.

ywedabs.

2010-11-18T23:34:00.003+08:00

The people that keeps me sane.

Had accounting lecture in the morning followed by MICE lecture and off to MBS. Idk about you people but ive always been on team RWS. K how random. Ended early and went down to Town via bus (OMG RIGHT) w princess mel. So met Fitre and got tickets for the rest and off to Scape for LGS, potential mugging spot. Wanted to exchange my bb but apparently they changed their bb centre! 15minutes( i swear it was like 646436mins) later met up w the rest and caught social network. Bloody hell no its not like a chick flick movie or something, kinda very okay interesting i dont really care since im not into the technical stuffs. Haha!

Nabil drove us to west coast plaza for some chillax session.

I love you bitches.

2010-11-17T21:12:00.002+08:00

i want to be back, back in Japan back in Minoh hotel, back staying on top of the hill, back sitting at the balcony till wee in the morning. Freezing outside, filling lungs with nicotine, filling my stomach with alot of Dars. Back to when im free of all worries, back when no one could reach me, back when nothing around me bothers me, back when i enjoy walking alone, back when dayah and i would just whine and finish a box within a flash cause life's too fucked up, back when it doesnt matter if no one in Singapore finds me.

i hated being back, back to when the person you wished misses you doesnt give a shit, back when the person you loved or still love is happy with his life, back where no one cares much bout who you really are, back where no one really cares to know you unless you are pretty.

this is.. my friend. P M S

2010-11-17T00:15:00.000+08:00

Hi, i like it when there's a smile on my face. A wide wide smile.

2010-11-15T23:29:00.002+08:00

Its been donkey ages since i blogged, duh.

Nabil got admitted for like a week and have been discharged, hope he's fine. We've been visiting him and having random supper nights together after visiting Nabil. Idk is it just me or it is really me, i really couldnt be bothered AT all bout alot of stuffs. I am tired, real tired.

4am yesterday, i was awaken and tears started rolling down. Don't ask me why, i dont know either. There's just so much kept deep inside and i keep telling myself i don't give a shit, so prolly that might be the cause for random break down moments.

how i wished im still in Japan. When nothing bothers me when feelings gave me a break. Im considering having my internship overseas and even.. really considering going out of Singapore once i get my diploma and work anywhere else from here. I need that restart button or atleast a pause to all this.

November, speed up.

2010-11-06T23:12:00.002+08:00

Today is..... Abang bob's big day. Woke up early just for them and hahaha the whole family damn cute as always. Can see their busuk busuk face :) Brah brah brah. Ate alot, snapped alot too, my baby sunshine feels so inferior beside 2 canon big bodies! But neh, i love it still.

Aiya weddings are just so nice, but i don't see myself as a bride .. at all. Too career minded i shall say? kidding, i guess life is not just about finding the right person and settle down. Well atleast to me. its about chasing after something you've always dreamed of, going the distance, pushing to your limits, doing craziest things in life, traveling .. SO yeah that explains.

but its oh so sweet seeing them omg!

2010-11-05T18:26:00.001+08:00

Thursday, Had school and lunch with my favourite girls. Ended and head down to Bugis to meet my favourite boys and girl. Settled for nabins (yet again) caught up like real lot, or was i the only one complaining haha! Searched for Tong Seng to get my Laksa w cockles, Yums. And then headed back home.

Happy Deepavali.

2010-11-03T19:54:00.002+08:00

Hi November,

I believe it did not start on a good note and i can't wait for it to end. Too many things happened from god knows where and they keep on coming. Once twice, prolly i was nailed to the ground, at the count of three, i really couldn't be bothered. Like i said, these things are irrelevant in life and i don't necessarily need it.

Maybe i learnt how not to give a fuck. I really don't, neither do i wish i do but anyways i've been thinking alot about my future, i think i am sure where i wanna be. May Allah guide me to the right path, Amin.

2010-11-02T21:26:00.002+08:00

Idk why but i always post this picture each time i miss my boys. this was like 2 or 3 years ago, look how fat hehehe afiq became, how long yu chang's hair was, how innocent and cute pinoy was (k he still is) and my ashy i think he's still the same. Apart from these boys yes i do miss faris and nabil too. These guys need to date me out be it to teletubby land or Haji lane cause i miss you babies alot.

& i miss my girlies too!

2010-11-01T22:34:00.002+08:00

Spoooooooooooooooooktacular is officially over.

Yes now, i really miss everyone from spooktacular, from the make up artists to aiya everyone lah kay like seriously. Although im having major leg cramps and whatnots, i seriously wished we all could have one last day scaring the guests. So yeah its awesome! Its Monday, yes it is. Came to school in formal wear, how sucky. Bla bla bla was so happy to see the princesses and franz who admitted he misses us aww!

okay i have alot to do, so ketchup (catch up) later.

/yes alot of shits have been happening lately, lets just walkaway.

2010-10-29T00:27:00.002+08:00

Yesterday after HELL okay i mean SSM, after waking up at 4am, waiting for the bus for 45 frickin' minutes, gel-ling every bit of hair, bringing the wrong pants, got praised then kena scream, long hours of standing, carrying bricks and bottles till my shoulder nearly break, bla bla bla.. me and jassy headed to USS for Halloween partay which was awesome.

k i still super tired from SSM and im sure im gna have an awesome day at Spooktacular for the next 3 days (and f thank god halloween's ending cause i miss you like fuck) then back to school but anyway i WILL meet my gf or ill go nuts.

/some people just don't get it. damn it, what the hell was i thinking back then. Bloody mistake, but you just don't get it.

2010-10-26T21:34:00.002+08:00

OLA.

2nd day of school, came earlier to meet Princess Mel to print some notes and have lunch. Met the other two princesses and guess what they got me...? HEHEHEEE yeaps, they got me betty boop lip cushion for my birthday which was like a month or two ago. Hahaha, super cute of Jassy to have kept for so long.

Blah got more pens today (hehe!) and some more of SSM stuffs. Then went to site recce in TCA in case we bimbo(s) get lost there tomorrow, and fyi fyi im waking up at 4 to get ready for this hell module! And i am so god damn sad i have to turn into a jet black emo hair girl now, i was contemplating for hours whether to risks my life and spray my hair tmr or just dye it but yeah apparently grades > hair.

talking bout > Im still surviving 26 days of work > dyea. Been abit tough and feels like we've drifted but wth halloween's gonna end soon so.. I am... loooking forward... for ME TIME HAHAHAHA. but then again, nopes im not expecting anything but you better make it up to poor girl.

Okay i needa sleep soon, well after mum finish cooking sambal prawns that is!

2010-10-25T22:54:00.002+08:00

Day one of school.

Monday, SSM lecture 5-6pm. Yes that was my timetable. Met up w babies to get stuffs for SSM and then headed to school for lunch. Printed notes, got surprised call from someone(and ill dedicate a whole post to you after this and damn it wont be surprising at all) then off the lecture, kinda miss the LT and everyone in it. Ended and met my favourite girl from engine heeeheheheheh and window shopped and got stuffs. Caught up real bit and heck i miss you real lot. Sad how each time i see her i have no story bout my dates but hahahaha loved it that way anyway all the time.

aiya lazy to write another post. but to you, im sorry please dont be ridiculous and expect the same kind of attention i give you years back, for goodness sake its YEARS back. Ive moved on youve always moved on please don't try to bring things up, im really damn tired of this and that i really am. And right now i really couldnt be bothered bout alot of stuffs, you wanna stay you stay, you choose to leave, well be my guest but please dont randomly start all this shits one day and tell me you miss me and all cause i get this shits all the time and im really fucking exhausted from all this.

even blogging bout this tires me. Im gonna pack my back and admire my barbie pencil box and my many many pens now bye. HAHAHAHA

2010-10-24T21:55:00.002+08:00

OLAAAAAAAAAAA!

Hi World, those ghosts would be my classmates as of tomorrow! I just wanna say Spooktacular has been really two thumbs up. The volunteers, the committee the crowd and all! Despite having to report early and all, really at the end of the day when we sit in the night transport, we all know we have this great feeling of being part of something that's worth all our effort.

Bet we are all excited for school and the last 3 days of Spooktacular! But honestly im abit very scared for SSM cause we've all heard about the fierce tutors/trainers

And im still sick.

Goodnight cupcakes!

2010-10-24T02:18:00.003+08:00

Hi Cupcakes!

Yes thats me in white, you cant imagine what ghost i am! But anyway, its been awesome so far especially with the help of most Leisurites, Arent we just proud of it? :) Well i definitely enjoy being my character cause im always smiling (i indian seducing ghost whaaattt) Ayo my head is spinning. Lets call it a night and continue tomorrow.

xx.

2010-10-21T17:56:00.002+08:00

Everyone have been asking bout Japan and its just so much to tell.

I miss being there, i miss crashing to each other hotel rooms, going convenience store every single day, freezing like mad but we all know what was the ultimate anti-dote, i miss buying mixers such as Pocca Sweat which turns out awful, i miss laughing like mad and no one to stop you, i miss doing silly things and blaming Japan, i miss feeling scared on the first night and crash w the boys, i miss snoozing my alarm like a million times before we wake up, i miss using boots and not having to tie them myself, i miss being random such as karaoke and neoprints, i miss being free from everything, i miss sitting on the ledge w dayah whinning bout how sad our life REALLY is and spamming over 4000 toxic chemicals into our lungs but it felt nice, i miss having texts from mum at night and tell her im alright, i miss using ukata and everyone else too, i miss BIDET-ing! (inappropriate but hellyeah thats awesome cool shiat)

it just hit me, while i was there, i dont remember wishing anyone else to be there cause the people i was with was a fucking awesome bunch, we definitely rocked Japan.

Sayonara honeystars.

2010-10-21T17:35:00.002+08:00

MISSSSSHHHHH EUUUUX

2010-10-20T23:30:00.003+08:00

im really tired and exhausted by all this chasing, waiting, putting my ego aside and embarrassing myself. Ive been leaving you long texts and calls but apparently they were all ignored. Please dont appear months later, once youre gone, youre non existent to me. Please dont be such an ass like those asses who comes back and pretend nothing happen and everything's cool cause i would have got over the fact that we're through.

and just so you know i tried my best and i thought things were going so well. apparently it wasnt.

Don't Look Back In Anger

2010-10-20T18:24:00.002+08:00

2010-10-20T15:12:00.002+08:00

Its been me, cough syrup, asthma pumps, pills and more pills, blankie and bed for the past few days. Really exhausted and shagged. But the memories back in Japan.. never fail to plaster a smile on my face.

im slightly excited for 2.2, its gonna be one hell of semester, embrace yourself mafakaz xoxo

2010-10-19T22:16:00.003+08:00

Brief update on Japan.

Beautiful country, Oishi Food, Malboro Ice blend, Malibu, Laughter and more laughter, Carefree, Legde, USJ, Osaka Castle, Pretty ketoteks, McPork, Turbulences, Student Exchange, RUNA, and awesome bunch of leisurites, Karaoke, Waterfall, Rainbows and much more.

I conclude,i wanna travel the world.

2010-10-19T17:19:00.000+08:00

aiyo damn lazy to update on Japan. But it was fun though! :)

2010-10-07T01:58:00.001+08:00

ill always be there babe & i love you too

Nurdiana Ayub.

2010-10-03T21:10:00.001+08:00

I can't afford to see myself that low once more, so tell me, do i take my leave now?

2010-10-02T00:07:00.002+08:00

1 Oct.

Woke up pretty late, well honestly woke up for these people. And i think i woke up at the wrong side of the bed, every single little things gets to me cause they just do. Afiq's then Fitre's then Nabil's and off to Champion Avenue/road/drive?

So under the stars and boys realized there wasn't any moon, so just stars. Had some heart to heart talks for hours, laughed over the silliest things, made nabil reversed and drive pass to get some pretty pictures hahah but funniest outta all, hearing each other screaming at me about the obvious and tryna knock some senses into me, but failed.

Blaaaaaaaaaah J came over to fetch sasyah so boys sent me back. Along the way..... i realized how abnormal i am but what the fuck, i love myself.

Well, Goodnight.

2010-10-01T00:29:00.004+08:00

hi, im shagged.

1) I need to stop going Haji, weekly.

2) 7 Days to Japan

3) Time's running out, holidays would be over soon.

4) It'd be Weekdays = School. Weekends: Work. Don't know where someone fits in.

5) Raya, isn't raya anymore.

6) Have a gut feeling ill miss you like mad.

Goodnight.

2010-09-24T10:54:00.002+08:00

"omg look at yourself, you're in a mess"

initially i thought, prolly i am in a mess, but now im sure im in a big mess. Yes any other every single average jane would probably not feel the guilt and go "fuck everything im single" but i don't do average.

2010-09-21T01:58:00.003+08:00

Its funny how life is, it really is.

its not funny rather sad. Its sad waiting for someone to make you feel like a princess, its sad waiting for someone to buy you a rose (though i know dee and wan bought me on vday cause its fucked up) its sad when you never had valentine,its sad looking at those pretty places and not have anyone special to share with, its sad watching the sunset on the bus home from school, its sad seeing others having their time of their life, its very sad looking at sweet couple on water taxi having dinner.

but im happy that you're sad dyea, cause atleast at the end of it you don't get your heart broken. Or have it always been broken.

This is what holidays make me into, Goodnight.

2010-09-21T01:44:00.004+08:00

Nabins Again w babies this time but unfortunately my other two babies ( afiq & nabil ) can't join us :( Hope you too are okay!

Met Fitre to get his niece's present and had lunch while waiting for Sassy. Headed to Haji or rather Nabins to precise, babies' virgin trip. The minute i stepped in the courtyard, i screamed my lungs out cause i saw my favorite girl like ohmygod!!!!!!

Awesome catch up time of course but it kinda hit me.. this wonderful souls wouldn't be here as often, yeah just look at ash already too busy w his attachment we barely have time to get mcflurry even. 5 years down the road, i hope we're still friends cause i don't think there's anyone like you and you and you out there.

2010-09-20T02:03:00.002+08:00

Just so you know, i like how stupid yet so adorable you are when you make that idiotic faces in the wee hours and make me smile and laugh like some idiot. I like how annoying you are sometimes i just want to punch you so hard cause you'r so silly.

i like how you make me happy all the time.

but then again........ no i shouldn't get used to it, but for the first time, i can't find a reason to go MIA. yeah, something i am pretty good at.

2010-09-18T22:14:00.002+08:00

Stargazing

Cable Car

Water boat

Flyer

Please strike off at least on of the above someday?

2010-09-18T19:41:00.002+08:00

Hi!

Exams are over (lets just hope no supps) No more sleepless nights no more guilt no more worries no more this and that, Never felt so free before. Okay no i have nothing to whine about, hahahaahah.

I just wanna say i can't wait for Japan! like totalleh, bet its gona be pure madness and awesome good fun w them. SCREAMS!

2010-09-16T01:20:00.002+08:00

i typed a whole para on our bitching and major catch up session but apparently blogger's being a totally whore and some HTML error.

update pretty soon, xoxo

2010-09-15T13:04:00.003+08:00

So tell me, what if the butterflies in my stomach turned into maggots and decomposed. What if I lost every bit of hope there is left. What if all i do is secretly envy those lovey dovey couples who buy them roses, dedicate them songs, wipe away their tears, hold them and everything else dont matter one bit, write them long letters, surprise their loved ones w candies randomly just to make their day, sew pictures on the handphone strap, be there just like a flash.

Oh wait there a second, i had that.

well whoever said alcohol was anti-depressant was doubtful, it is a depressant.

A depressant is a psychoactive drug, as it can affect the mood and perception, by acting on the central nervous system

2010-09-15T02:20:00.001+08:00

hi life, you're nothing like what i pictured it to be. :\

2010-09-15T01:58:00.003+08:00

Step up & Timbre.

I swear when we are all old, timbre SHALL be our reunion spot.

2010-09-13T01:48:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Life taught me alot of valuable lessons that are golden to me.. For the past one year. Last year, you came as a family, today you came and left the minute you saw someone who was once your part of your life. Its sad, yes its sad, when you cant even hold on a little longer especially when your gifts from god were there, all dressed in baju kurung with that smile plastered on their faces when they see you, but you had to leave. It hurt me deep down eventhough im not one of your gems, but i know deep down that cute little innocent faces, they were hurt too. I wanted to cry cause it hurts to see this whole change.

Thus in this holy month, Allah, i beg of you, You can take everything away from me one day, but please don't let me hurt my children the same way.

Last Year, you were here with us, although your father was away i know you always had us. Things change, and your apology text on first day of raya and your calls made everyone in the family cry. Im sorry that it hurts you deep down seeing others celebrating raya on first day of aidilfitri and you felt like you belong no where.

Therefore, ya Allah, please take care of him and lead him along the way.

I know of others who get so fed-up with life just because their girlfriends or boyfriends, im sorry but please wake up, there are bigger issues in life you should worry about and stop being sucha baby. Haish.

life.. don't go easy on you, so please stop being so easy and allowing ever little challenge it throws you to affect you. You control your life, don't let life controls you.

2010-09-12T15:36:00.002+08:00

2010-09-12T15:24:00.002+08:00

First and Foremost, Before i post pictures for Raya.

Me, Nordiana Ibrahim.. (beware of the hancur bahasa melayu) Ingin menyusun(?) k i cant do this. Bottomline, I wanna apologize (sincerely) from the bottom of my heart if i have ever had any wrongdoings (duh,obvious) with chu, ie scream at you, punch you kick you break you or anything and everything i have done, i am not perfect, no one is and everyone makes mistakes. Someone told me the easiest way to live life is to Forgive and Forget, so lets just stick by it in this Aidilfitri.

Love,

Nordiana I.

2010-09-01T00:17:00.003+08:00

Hi August,

Despite complaining how much i actually hate you like since 30th July 2359, You weren't that bad this year. I remember laughing and smiling more than wasting these tears. I realised, my world revolves around my loved ones. Once i thought, my little heart wont even fit one special person, but now i realised its big enough to fit everyone above. And thats it, no more spaces :) Im really fine staying this way so long everything between me and these heaven-sent souls remains the same, ill be the happiest girls.

I actually ran outta wishes for 11:11 or my birthday cause i dont think i need anything else when i have them.

So cheers to my babies, princesses and loves.

2010-08-31T23:11:00.002+08:00

Hi, im still alive.

Exams are round the corners, Raya's days away, excited for none. Met up w boys at noon, mugged and break-fast at fish and co. Chilled and ultimate fail mugging session at starbucks.

but anyways, enjoyed every bit being w them boys.

byes.

2010-08-23T01:04:00.002+08:00

Hi world

Finally Sunday, end of my 4 days of work, thank god. Sales have been (N) and ive been stoning for like hours doing nothing and i'm so not used to it but glad its over! Whole family plus mamat went over to Msia and poor girl end up alone but i ended up buying lotsa nice food over to ashy's and got my long-craved popiah cheese crabmeat and mee soup, Yummmmms.

I think ash's family is the only ones that i feel comfortable with ahahah! Awesome breakfast session though i almost choked ahahahahah funny ttm! Insyirah and Nandar cute as ever, like wanna bring back. Rusty like carpet and pbg ttm keep sleeping.

Singapore's soccer match was sad, cause effort was there, luck wasnt. Supper w fav boyz and back home.

k bye.

2010-08-20T22:08:00.002+08:00

Hi this is to sas, Your balloon is still round!

Oh hi hi hi hi, im screwed for final papers cause im too tired to mug. Kill me please!

k bye

2010-08-18T12:35:00.003+08:00

Hi fitre.

I know things might be abit rough on your side, but please remember you have me and the awesomest people on earth that wouldn't love you any lesser than anyone could (k prolly your mom love you most). Please know that life's a bitch, sometimes everything just fall outta place everything just don't feel right, but doesn't mean you've gotta continue feeling so cause some things are meant to happen, get back up.

Trust me, you don't know how useless we feel when we see you at your lowest. Im sorry to her seriously, cause i know you well enough to say that she just lost herself a good man. And yes you've gotta stop wasting tears on her cause deep down, oh cmon on you deserve nothing like that. Love makes people happy, not hurt.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd please call either one of us up if you are feeling low. Anyway, you love you to the tiniest bits, pinoy. hehe xoxo!

2010-08-18T01:45:00.002+08:00

after viewing their videos like a million times, i realised how badly these boys want me to have a boyfriend. (fyi i havent had one since N levels, donkey years, i know)

and it hit me,

its just an impossible imbalance equation of me + someone. Oh cmon people, you seriously think ill let myself feel that low, so low i took years to get back up.. and just to be pushed down. Im sorry, the way i see it, loving someone is just a stupid mistake. And yes im a coward, but im saving my ass as well.

and guys, you seriously want to see me THAT sad once more? I don't think so.

but hennyways, for i love each and everyone in my life now, xoxoxoxo, its people like you that makes it damn irrelevant give yourself to someone else :)

2010-08-18T01:35:00.002+08:00

Hi babies. Thank you like a whole lot, you guys dont know how happy you people made me feel today. Yes finally a year without a heartbreaker that breaks this poor girl's heart. Of course, YOUR attempt to spoil my day failed tremendously cause obviously you became too insignificant to matter :)

Woke up, got ready and met my babyboys and babygirls and off to simpang, thanks J for the ride, you know i secretly like you most outta all guys she's dated (SO TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY GIRL) reach simpang and got awesome food ive been craving for.. forever.

blah off to geylang just to get nice food (again) bla bla bla, alamak i really love my friends ttm.

xoxoxoxox

2010-08-17T02:28:00.002+08:00

Hi Birthday Girl,

Happy 19th, Im sorry if i screwed up your previous birthdays, im sorry for telling you everything will be screwed, im sorry if keep telling you there's no silver lining, im sorry if i told you you don't deserve to be happy, im sorry if at times, i break you heart again and again just because i think it'll save your ass. Im sorry if i told you no one will ever be good enough for you or rather you'll never be good enough.

Hey big girl, you're 19th now, it's time you know when to shut these little voices and tell yourself, ya know what, to hell with it, im doing it right this time.

But then again, im sorry, i doubt ill let anyone in. So please dont complain bout not having that real special someone to complete you messed up puzzle cause girl, your friends are worth much more than that.

w love,

Diana.

2010-08-17T02:21:00.001+08:00

Yes yes yes i look damn :O but i really couldnt care less. i love them to the tinest bits. yes yes yes i was darn shocked w i see syameel, afad, zul and ichan, awwww!

yes finally after years, i might actually love 17th august :)

2010-08-17T02:14:00.002+08:00

Met up w these guys for iftar and for idk what reasons.... they booked ticks for curse of the desert, like 99% of the time i was covering my eyes, listening to songs, laughing and i cried. and i conclude its a bloody was of money and we should have totalleh gone to geylang.

made x and Afiq&nabil to send me back, but x was drunk and the boys said they missed the last train so i emo backed home of course w the company of mamat.

2010-08-15T20:50:00.001+08:00

Years go by, this heart is still hard as stone.

2010-08-15T20:49:00.001+08:00

2010-08-15T00:24:00.002+08:00

im sorry mum if i make you feel sucky and im sorry if im the worst daughter. you just need to realised how spoilt is that girl. Im sorry but im pretty sure, one day if you ask me why is she like that, ill tell you, its your fault and you pampered her too much. Dont be surprised if she actually grows up to be like your brothers.

2010-08-15T00:13:00.002+08:00

Was late for work for half an hour -.- Ended half an hour later. Came back for after hours and break-fast at Mel Drive in. Blah bla bla, amazing fireworks spectacular.

blah

im not speaking to mum thanks to the girl. kalau kau rasa kau nak lari rumah, silakan, jangan balik terus, jangan nak threatened aku, sikit pun aku tk heran. and i had enough of being pushed the blamed ah, i just blew off and told mum no this is not my freakin fault anymore, i had it, its her fault and no im not pushing the blame cause fuck don't blame me for something ive not done.

night. august youre screwed.

2010-08-13T23:45:00.002+08:00

& that was a total surprise, thanks kak irah for the dress and thanks nad too for the awesome break-fast and tie dye hunt

2010-08-13T23:40:00.000+08:00

2010-08-10T00:56:00.003+08:00

Life's a god damn big puzzle you'll never see the big picture till you die.

Somethings are the freaking reason why I love making use of every single minute of my life either mugging or working. Cause when you have free time, shits tend to happen, prolly not to you but at the end of the day, you'd feel as shitty.

I was enjoying the breeze at River valley when i realized, i love nature more than food prolly. I love how the stars shine so brightly, how soothing the sound of the waves crashing are, how calm the moon is everyday. But there's one thing bout it.. i don't see anyone myself having someone special to appreciate these wonders of life cause i won't let myself have one.

but im not complaining cause feeling nothing is way better than to feel hurt, ironic much?

2010-08-10T00:41:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday Princess Insyirah ♥

Happy Birthday Singapore ♥

2010-08-07T00:25:00.003+08:00

i figured, i should so something nice for myself.

some people dont know how much it means to me and some people just dont know how i want them to be there for me and some people just dont know i wont say these things cause of how freakin ego i am. Some people dont know how hurt each time i wish i am as happy as them on my birthday.

cause at the end 0f it all, i know im the only one who knows myself.

1# why i hate august.

2010-08-06T21:35:00.004+08:00

I actually do feel real sad that today marks the last day of school in TAS and that in a year to come, it'd be taken over by RWS :(

Im gonna miss taking the sky train with tourists, running up the slope, im gonna miss the white colonial house, im gna miss the bangla chill out place where me and jas would choing our project at until god-damn late and scare ourselves, the creepy underground hide-out, the toilets where boys do actually ask girls along to and its perfectly normal,

im gonna miss how close we are to RWS and how ill go get my Festive Hotel ice cream when im feeling down, how the weather rocks all the time even when it rains or shine, i love how our course bond so frickin' well there, i love how my coursemates make my day. Oh im gonna miss the China brotha whom i always converse in broken chinese too everyday at the canteen

this is making me cry :(

2010-08-06T15:16:00.001+08:00

Last day of TAS :(

Happy Birthday Tibet :)

2010-08-04T21:57:00.003+08:00

Decide and Do is two different things. - Edward w.g

Something i want real bad right now. Wish me luck for Friday people. :)

2010-07-31T00:52:00.004+08:00

Friday, No-School day.

Woke up to complete the ass reflection. Met the boys an hour later hahahaha, made our way to pit building where.. we realised we are part of the some 'performance' or rather 'act' as athletes for YOG, what the.. So we decided not to be apart of it and sneaked out. After walking for 20m i realised hey its not that bad after all and i want to watch BADLY but no, i guess the boys were too tired from sch and refuse to walk back :( emo for a while but its okay i guess, like what nabil said " you shouldnt be sad, you are around the best circle of friends, we'll have fun and you made the right choice for ditching YOG CCR" =,=''

chilled and ate.. yeah us, Singapore River, River Cruise, Sky scraper, Live music was just awesome. One moment i nearly cried cause its so damn sweet when this small boat where there was just one couple inside (except the driver and idk who) hmm, i never see that happening for my case and for that moment, i know where i stand in this mushy lovey dovey world, totally no where.

then afiq was telling me bout the other time when he walked towards clarke quay and there was alot of people and when the river cruise came, they threw down the banner saying .. "will you marry me" and again, i dont see anything like that either

i think i live a sad life and its just less sad than i know cause im too busy w alot of things just because i don't like too much alone-time cause i don't like listening to these little voices.

blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, got my cinnamon meltz, normal only eh?

k off to sleep, work tomorrow. Hi pretty koreans!

2010-07-31T00:38:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday Kelly Chng and Franz Poh.

2010-07-29T00:46:00.003+08:00

Hi, Presentations Over, one more bloody reflection journal and im free as a bird

love school love life love work

PS: why is it that.... people think i dont rest or i dont give time for myself? i dont?

2010-07-28T01:37:00.005+08:00

Nothing looks nicer on anyone, than a smile :)

2010-07-28T00:22:00.004+08:00

You're not worth a pinch of my anger.

2010-07-28T00:06:00.003+08:00

Dear 27th,

I hate how messed up you've always been. Messing around w my perfect set of feelings, weakening my ego, unlocking those long kept irrelevant feelings.

But oh well, you're over.

blah bla blah.

Waited for Jas and 11 train passed.. and guess what? She was in lecture all along, sometimes i really am one airhead i swear. Sudden moodswings, so sad i felt like ditching accounting for alone-time at the beach, but oh cmon. Bla, Had work, was glad i bumped into Frankenstein who totally perked up my day. Work was awesome as always.

And i have reflection journal to do and speech to practice. So bye peepole.

one angsty post comin' right up

2010-07-26T00:27:00.004+08:00

"ah winstons yang kau penting kan."

Saturday, 6am, Morning shift. Despite reaching home at 12am ish from work the day before. Rushed to city hall, sorry for screaming at you ashy. And to you boys, sorry for being so so vulgar and and being so so so late and being so anal and spoilt ttm k . Made the sunset boys wait from 5 pm to 8pm for dinner, heheh so much for my "ahh 15 minutes reaching" hehe. Those boys' face were epic ttm ah.

so .. i end up watching fireworks from Msq since hehe i was super late. Blah, craving for fried mars bars and cant find it at Rc, and heehehe as much as i know the boys hate walking they were like ah walk aimlessly only.. and i found myself at Plaza Sing hehehehehehe thank you b(s)

Chilled at Istana Park blah bla bla

I AM STILL.. Craving for roti john :(

and should i be worried that i spend most of my time at work and school? i realized this week i really dont have time out myself.

kay bye babies.

2010-07-22T23:36:00.004+08:00

Had Opera test, dont talk bout it. Blah met two favourite boys (the other two ps) at dhoby, and i never ever fail to get so effing pissed off when im there at the station cause i ALWAYS cant find people there, bottom line always get lost there. The all time major pissed off moment was .. i shall keep it to myself.

bla i was i so fucking pissed off that the boys went to collect the tickets w/o me and didnt wait for me at the mrt, yes im fucking spoilt when it comes to me and my boys. As soon as i saw them.. face so poor thing kena hang up kena scolded.. hahaahah blew up for like 5 minutes then aww hugs. HAHAHAAH

so i was whining throughout inception cause i didnt get my snacks for the movie. bla, inception was nice lah, abit too alot to digest but i guess its a good guy-thing movie where boys wont bother to explain to we girls cause we wouldnt understand anyway.

bla bla bla.

i want to tell my boys, i love them to the core and yeah i figured, no one in the world would ever be close to them. xoxoxoxoxo.

k self-declared holiday tomorrow and yes, work tomorrow. Yay

/Ps: Saturday come fast k!

2010-07-19T22:13:00.001+08:00

Monday, never knew the definition of monday blues until today. Slept in the train while standing (and didnt wanna wake up) Dragged my ass to school, 830, presentation w 'clients' we had to present to 5 different people.

blah blah, monday is not my favourite day.

k bye

2010-07-19T01:19:00.002+08:00

Eh hi.

Saturday, work.

Sunday, Also work

Next week; tuesday work, fri work, sat work sat fireworks sat simpang(please) , sun work.

For some irrelevant people who thinks im being v ridiculous to say im busy and still have time to update my facebook/blog. Your problem kay? Go google this thing called, Multi-task.

falling sick, monday blues owned me already, 830, sentosa, business proposal presentation on zoo, good luck sia dyea. bye.

2010-07-17T00:27:00.004+08:00

Accounting paper was a total bitch, gave me maximum stress, chances of getting A, negative. Had belated belated belated Darren's bday, i think we super sweet can :) Then met up w the boyz and off to henderson waves, woah bimbo led the way. Beef noodles, honeydew sago and Next light.

When other coursemates are partying, i settled for a chill out session with the favourite boys (missing Ash, Nabil and Sas) . Creepy route to Henderson Waves, Missed fireworks cause Henderson waves just had to be built facing the heartlands instead of Sentosa and Jurong Island. But anyways, gonna catch fireworks while @ work tomorrow.

blah met my another baby under his blk and guess what he got me.... TIE DYE DRESS. Fucking love him like fucking to the core, been searching for tie dye(s) since forever lah, so pretty somemore! Zomg zomg zomg these boys dont know how much i love them k.

ive never complained how boring life is without a boyfriend nor have i thought of NEEDING one, crossed my mind. Simple reason, i have incredible heaven sent friends that i appreciate and they make me the happiest girl. And i don't get how some people are so obsessed over love even when someone hurts them a lot and things happen again and again.

What a sad life, great things around them but sadly too blinded but 'love'

People you need to wake up seriously. W A K E U P!

one wish before i sleep tonight, can i please keep my bestfriends forever?

2010-07-16T03:38:00.000+08:00

Eh excuse me girl, I miss you too :)

AND FUCK LAH CAN THIS ACCOUNTING IS REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES. Last warning sia braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

kay stop complaining bitch, jiayo bimbo

2010-07-15T23:46:00.002+08:00

dead drunk, wasted, carried, lost, hangover, lies, betrayal, lies lies lies, guilt, sober, shivers, self hatred, more drunk, more wasted.

its all over.

2010-07-15T11:02:00.003+08:00

Wuhoooo, Submission are over and done w. Satisfied? Well .. okay before i start bitching. No, more like relieved. After weeks of minimal sleep, sleeping w eyes open in lectures & tutorials, in mrt and zombie-ing while walking, the end is here.

hahhahahaha. Had an awesome 17 hours or sleep, well beat that people. K bye, im alive and im gonna make it up to mum now and hehe less dress up for schoooool HAHAHAHAH

k byez.

2010-07-13T13:09:00.001+08:00

Tuesday, Clear Leave due to slight fever and extreme level of tiredness, Guilty for ditching accouting and Leisure and Resort Mgt. Finally took the time to dig up dad's vintage or rather damn old camera bag where i found 2 damn damn damn old sigma lens. Hmm seems like it can be of good use.

Till then, baby sunshine, i shall continue w my work

Good day everyone!

2010-07-13T00:31:00.003+08:00

Hi World, Done w AM, next up, FEM, mother of all bitches. K Joking. So i was browsing through my webcam pictures and i miss my blonde highlights, mel, amills, kocky, thaddy, dessy and tp tp tp tp tp. Omg seems like i lost weight, oh my not again.

k gonna get some ice cream now knowing im falling sick -,-' couldnt really care less, needa power myself up!

Jiayo bimbo.

Shall look forward for next week-end, despite working 5 days a week zzz.

2010-07-12T20:24:00.003+08:00

Woke up feeling all angsty, must be due to extreme lack of sleep and totally shagged. Pissed off all the way till Harbour, felt so much better complaining to Jassy. Tutorials and Lectures. Lunch w team-mates awesome boys-girls-talk.

Back to project, kinda very toast :(

bye everyone

2010-07-12T02:28:00.002+08:00

there's no one else i need right now more than the boys, babygirls and princesses. & those who thinks they make my day and make me the happiest girl.

i thank god endlessly for blessing me with these people. Amin.

2010-07-12T02:17:00.003+08:00

Can't believe after so long, you still think i go around playing with other's heart like it don't matter, Date anyone i want and throw them as and when i want. Woah thanks, a real lot.

im sorry, ive realised there's just more to giving false hope, making empty promises, saying i love you when i dont mean it. Even if i do, there's more to love. And i don't need it. Period.